How to Catch a Cheating Spouse
An article explaining the obvious signs of a cheating spouse, but still good to read and check through. I hope it helps.
Michael
Main article
How to Catch a Cheating Spouse by Sunny Arora
It's very hard to tell whether your spouse is cheating on you or not. Sometimes misunderstanding can lead to the downfall of a good relationship. Therefore before you question your spouse you better be 100% sure. There are many signs of a cheating spouse. Read on to find out more on how to catch a cheating spouse.
Lack of interest- Your spouse would show lesser interest in you than normal. He/she would rather do something else than spend time with you. They would keep themselves involved it some other kind of activity than spend time with you which they would usually used to do.
Constant arguments- They would constantly argue with you on small issues. This is a very strong sign that your spouse might be cheating on you. They would always get very angry about small things and argue constantly without any proper reasoning.
More time away from home- They would start spending more time away from home. They would always make a silly excuse as to why they were away. They would return home unusually late at night and would normally act very tired.
Change in dress code- If your spouse is cheating on you he or she would probably start dressing very well even for daily visits to regular places. They would dress more neat and tidy than normal. They would shop more often for themselves.
Change in appearance- They would look more in the mirror than normal and would be more concerned about their looks if they are in the process of cheating. Your spouse would look in the mirror more constantly than normal before going out.
Phone rings more than normal- Most of the time when someone's cheating they tend to receive more phone calls than normal at unexpected times. Also they would have either small conversations or try and act in a peculiar manner when you sight them talking on the phone. Additionally your spouse would not answer your calls when he/she is out or might just turn their phone off in most cases.
Lack of physical affection towards you- This is the strongest sign that your spouse might be cheating on you. They tend to show lesser physical affection than normal towards you. They just totally lose interest in you. They won't touch or kiss you that often and might try and act distant.
Constant nagging- There would be constant nagging in the relationship if your spouse is cheating. He/she would blame you for everything. They would keep reminding you about your deficiencies. They would try and treat you like furniture and fixture. Most of the time you would feel like you do not even exist. Your opinions would never be heard. There would be a huge communication barrier between you two.
About the Author
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How to Catch a Cheating Spouse
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
How To Catch A cheating Spouse
How To Catch A cheating Spouse
A good article about how to tell if your spouse is cheating.
main article.
How to tell if your spouse is cheating on you?
How to tell if your spouse is cheating on you? Unfortunately the clues are not really that obvious nor are they very reliable. If your spouse is being very careful it will be very difficult to tell if your spouse is cheating.
If you suspect that your spouse is cheating, then take the time to come up with a plan and do some investigating on your own. If you have a gut instinct that he/she is cheating, 9 out of 10 times you will be right. That feeling will be there for a reason, don't ignore it, check it out. If you suspect that your feelings are correct then here is how to tell if your spouse is cheating.
1. Pay attention to your spouse's behavior. Are they suddenly buying a lot of new clothes? New undergarments of a different style? New perfume or cologne? Do they spend an unusual time in front of the mirror, changed hairstyle or grooming habits?
2. Look for physical signs. The obvious lipstick on the collar, also look for bruises or scratches on the back or shoulders. Does your spouse's laundry smell like men's cologne or woman's perfume? Check their laundry daily and if you can, check their bare back and shoulders every night after they are asleep.
3. Have their driving habits changed? Does the car need gas more often than before? Monitor the odometer closely to see if they are putting a lot of unexplained miles on the car.
4. Monitor the time they leave for work and come home. Keep a note book and record everything, this should enable you to establish a pattern. If your spouse says that they are working late, check the pay stub for overtime to verify.
5. There may be unusual changes in their usual routines or habits. They may want to be with their "guy or girl friends" more often. And if you offer to go with them they will have all kinds of excuses why you can't go.
If you use the methods explained above to find out how to tell if your spouse is cheating on you and you find that they are cheating, what do you do next? First, don't panic, stay calm, you don't want them to know that you know. This can be really hard but you should treat your spouse the same as you always have. Be an observer, let him/her show you their cheating ways and give them enough time to collect some hard evidence.
If your spouse is cheating, do you have a plan of what to do next? You should think about what you want. Do you want a divorce, a separation or do you want reconciliation? You should know exactly what you want before you confront them with the evidence. If you have done your work properly beforehand you should be in control of the situation and hopefully the outcome. If you are unsure, please consult a family lawyer or professional investigator.
There is a saying that goes something like this, "If you don't think your spouse is cheating on you, they might be. If you are beginning to suspect your spouse is cheating on you, they probably are. If you think your spouse is cheating on you, they definitely are." If you think that your spouse is cheating, please visit:http://www.howtotellifyourspouseischeating.com
Hope you found the article helpful
Michael Thomas
How To Catch A cheating Spouse
A good article about how to tell if your spouse is cheating.
main article.
How to tell if your spouse is cheating on you?
How to tell if your spouse is cheating on you? Unfortunately the clues are not really that obvious nor are they very reliable. If your spouse is being very careful it will be very difficult to tell if your spouse is cheating.
If you suspect that your spouse is cheating, then take the time to come up with a plan and do some investigating on your own. If you have a gut instinct that he/she is cheating, 9 out of 10 times you will be right. That feeling will be there for a reason, don't ignore it, check it out. If you suspect that your feelings are correct then here is how to tell if your spouse is cheating.
1. Pay attention to your spouse's behavior. Are they suddenly buying a lot of new clothes? New undergarments of a different style? New perfume or cologne? Do they spend an unusual time in front of the mirror, changed hairstyle or grooming habits?
2. Look for physical signs. The obvious lipstick on the collar, also look for bruises or scratches on the back or shoulders. Does your spouse's laundry smell like men's cologne or woman's perfume? Check their laundry daily and if you can, check their bare back and shoulders every night after they are asleep.
3. Have their driving habits changed? Does the car need gas more often than before? Monitor the odometer closely to see if they are putting a lot of unexplained miles on the car.
4. Monitor the time they leave for work and come home. Keep a note book and record everything, this should enable you to establish a pattern. If your spouse says that they are working late, check the pay stub for overtime to verify.
5. There may be unusual changes in their usual routines or habits. They may want to be with their "guy or girl friends" more often. And if you offer to go with them they will have all kinds of excuses why you can't go.
If you use the methods explained above to find out how to tell if your spouse is cheating on you and you find that they are cheating, what do you do next? First, don't panic, stay calm, you don't want them to know that you know. This can be really hard but you should treat your spouse the same as you always have. Be an observer, let him/her show you their cheating ways and give them enough time to collect some hard evidence.
If your spouse is cheating, do you have a plan of what to do next? You should think about what you want. Do you want a divorce, a separation or do you want reconciliation? You should know exactly what you want before you confront them with the evidence. If you have done your work properly beforehand you should be in control of the situation and hopefully the outcome. If you are unsure, please consult a family lawyer or professional investigator.
There is a saying that goes something like this, "If you don't think your spouse is cheating on you, they might be. If you are beginning to suspect your spouse is cheating on you, they probably are. If you think your spouse is cheating on you, they definitely are." If you think that your spouse is cheating, please visit:http://www.howtotellifyourspouseischeating.com
Hope you found the article helpful
Michael Thomas
How To Catch A cheating Spouse
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
How To Catch A Cheating Spouse
How To Catch A Cheating Spouse
Do you suspect your spouse is cheating on you? If you believe you have a cheating spouse you need to look for the sign of a cheating spouse, having an unfaithful spouse can be devastating, surviving infidelity can be a major life changing event. If you have a cheating partner, they will always show you a sign of infidelity.
You need to catch your cheating spouse, do not just confront them, be sure, before you start this extremely hard and difficult time. There are lots of ways to detect an affair.
Below is a great article, How to Tell if Your Spouse is Cheating, by Peter Dougan.
Michael Thomas
How To Catch A Cheating Spouse
Main article
How to Tell if Your Spouse is Cheating
How to tell if your spouse is cheating on you? Unfortunately that is something that I know about from experience, but like most people I found out about it too late. There are many ways to tell if your spouse is cheating and most of them will work just as well for men as they do for women.
You must always keep in mind that many of the signs of cheating can be attributed to something else. Your spouse could be in some difficulty at work, there could be financial problems that you are unaware of, or he or she may have some family problem that they don't want to discuss. But, if you suspect that it is something else, here is how to tell if your spouse is cheating.
1. In the beginning, if your spouse is cheating, he or she may actually be more affectionate and pay more attention to you because of feelings of guilt .
2. Cheating spouses may have a change in sexual habits, more sex, less sex or unexplained sexual requests. Sex may not last as long, men may have trouble in keeping an erection and women may fake orgasm to get it over with.
3. Their wardrobe may change. Your spouse may buy new clothes in a style that may be different than usual. They may start to wear a new perfume or cologne, or change their style of underwear.
4. Check the cell phone, look at the contacts and check the numbers in the favorites list. Write down any strange numbers you find. If you can't get access to his cell phone get a hold of the statement, that will have a list of all the numbers, dates and times of any calls made that month.
5. Keep a close eye on the finances. Check over very carefully the bank and credit card statements. Look for hotel bills close to home, restaurant charges from places that you have never eaten at. Has your spouse been purchasing small gifts for members of the opposite sex that you have not received?
There are several advantages to spying on your spouse. First it is one of the only ways how to tell if your spouse is cheating on you. You will learn the truth. You can catch them in the act, it is the proof you are looking for. You could possibly even save your marriage/relationship. Your spouse has made a mistake and come begging you to let him/her come back.
The disadvantages are: Trust, what if your spouse is loyal? They will know that you didn't trust them and feel deeply betrayed. It could possibly even end your marriage/relationship. Your spouse may catch you spying and take steps to keep you from finding any evidence. And finally, the truth hurts, if you discover that your spouse is cheating. And always, if you are unsure of what to do, please consult a family lawyer or a professional investigator.
About the author
Please DO NOT let your spouse keep on with their cheating ways, to obtain more information and resources to help you catch your cheating spouse in the act of cheating on you and finally know the truth visit: http://www.howtotellifyourspouseischeating.com/
Do you suspect your spouse is cheating on you? If you believe you have a cheating spouse you need to look for the sign of a cheating spouse, having an unfaithful spouse can be devastating, surviving infidelity can be a major life changing event. If you have a cheating partner, they will always show you a sign of infidelity.
You need to catch your cheating spouse, do not just confront them, be sure, before you start this extremely hard and difficult time. There are lots of ways to detect an affair.
Below is a great article, How to Tell if Your Spouse is Cheating, by Peter Dougan.
Michael Thomas
How To Catch A Cheating Spouse
Main article
How to Tell if Your Spouse is Cheating
How to tell if your spouse is cheating on you? Unfortunately that is something that I know about from experience, but like most people I found out about it too late. There are many ways to tell if your spouse is cheating and most of them will work just as well for men as they do for women.
You must always keep in mind that many of the signs of cheating can be attributed to something else. Your spouse could be in some difficulty at work, there could be financial problems that you are unaware of, or he or she may have some family problem that they don't want to discuss. But, if you suspect that it is something else, here is how to tell if your spouse is cheating.
1. In the beginning, if your spouse is cheating, he or she may actually be more affectionate and pay more attention to you because of feelings of guilt .
2. Cheating spouses may have a change in sexual habits, more sex, less sex or unexplained sexual requests. Sex may not last as long, men may have trouble in keeping an erection and women may fake orgasm to get it over with.
3. Their wardrobe may change. Your spouse may buy new clothes in a style that may be different than usual. They may start to wear a new perfume or cologne, or change their style of underwear.
4. Check the cell phone, look at the contacts and check the numbers in the favorites list. Write down any strange numbers you find. If you can't get access to his cell phone get a hold of the statement, that will have a list of all the numbers, dates and times of any calls made that month.
5. Keep a close eye on the finances. Check over very carefully the bank and credit card statements. Look for hotel bills close to home, restaurant charges from places that you have never eaten at. Has your spouse been purchasing small gifts for members of the opposite sex that you have not received?
There are several advantages to spying on your spouse. First it is one of the only ways how to tell if your spouse is cheating on you. You will learn the truth. You can catch them in the act, it is the proof you are looking for. You could possibly even save your marriage/relationship. Your spouse has made a mistake and come begging you to let him/her come back.
The disadvantages are: Trust, what if your spouse is loyal? They will know that you didn't trust them and feel deeply betrayed. It could possibly even end your marriage/relationship. Your spouse may catch you spying and take steps to keep you from finding any evidence. And finally, the truth hurts, if you discover that your spouse is cheating. And always, if you are unsure of what to do, please consult a family lawyer or a professional investigator.
About the author
Please DO NOT let your spouse keep on with their cheating ways, to obtain more information and resources to help you catch your cheating spouse in the act of cheating on you and finally know the truth visit: http://www.howtotellifyourspouseischeating.com/
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Dealing With A Cheating Spouse
Dealing With A Cheating Spouse
Cheating is all the same, It doesn't matter if you have a cheating husband, cheating wife, cheating boyfriend, or a cheating girlfriend, they all have the same signs of infidelity.
Below is a great article on dealing with a cheating spouse by Michael Douglas.
Dealing With A Cheating Spouse
A very good friend of mine - let me call her Shirley - told me that the day she found out that her husband was cheating on her and having an affair with a colleague, was the worst day of her life, "I've had other shocks," she told me soberly. "My younger brother dropped dead of a heart attack one day - when he was just 29. My mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer when she had had absolutely no symptoms. And I came to work one day and found a pink dismissal slip on my desk when I had been given the Employee of the Year award, just 6 months earlier. But this was the worst shock.
"The other happenings caused me great torment, but I could blame them on fate. After all, health isn't in our hands and our company was doing very badly at that time. But my husband's affair was a personal betrayal. It was a rejection of me at the most personal level." The photographs sent by a "friend who cares for you" had been a bolt from the blue because Shirley's hubby, Paul, had been - or had seemed to have been - as caring and affectionate as ever, at the time.
But in Cathy's case, she had suspected that something was wrong for some time, before she caught her husband David in a movie hall - with the daughter of a family friend when he should have been at office.
"David had been distant and indifferent for some time. Besides, I knew that he had been involved with this girl before she migrated to New Zealand and that she had come back after her marriage broke up. But perhaps I remained in denial because I can't describe how shocked and broken I felt when I saw him with her." For both Shirley and Cathy, the traumatic discovery brought anguish and stress. "The stress was because I not only had to deal with the betrayal of my husband being intimate with another woman, but I also had to maintain a facade of normalcy - for the sake of the kids and the rest of the family," explained Shirley.
When a man falls so deeply in love that he plans to leave his wife, he usually brings up the subject himself and tells his wife that he wants a divorce. But when he hides his affair, he is often just having a fling and has no intention of breaking up his home. When he is found out, he is usually terrified at the prospect of losing his kids and ostracised as an adulterer by the rest of the family.
So, almost invariably, he apologises and tells his wife that he acted without thinking, that the affair is a purely physical one with no emotional overtones or that the woman in question came on too strongly to be ignored. He then promises that he will never see the woman again and that he will be faithful to his wife for the rest of his days.
During the next few days, the broken and confused wife is badgered by her repentant husband. He begs her forgiveness, weeps and the time they are alone together, becomes agonising and unbearable for both of them. Both of them are also likely to be depressed, anxious and filled with a sense of great loss.
The nervous husband, who sees his life falling to pieces before his eyes, reminds his wife of their children and their families and tries to pressurise her into "forgiving" him. But the woman, at that time, is not able to think straight.
She is under great stress and is very vulnerable. So, there is a good chance that any decision she takes at this time, will be the wrong one!
Traumatic events like earthquakes, tsunami waves, criminal attacks and terrorist killings shatter our assumptions about our safety in the world. In a similar way, the discovery of infidelity on the part of our spouses devastates us because it shatters our basic assumption of being secure in a committed relationship. This is not the best time for us to take decisions - but a woman often tries to.
Here are some suggestions from psychiatrists, for those unfortunate enough to find themselves in this situation, on how to deal with it:
Do not take any impulsive decisions:
As has been mentioned above, no woman is, at this time, in a position to take any important or irrevocable decision. So, don't take any impulsively. Don't see your lawyer and ask him to start divorce proceedings and don't tell your husband that you'll forgive and forget either. Instead, tell your husband that you need time to come to terms with the shock that you are feeling.
Do not isolate yourself:
When we are very hurt, many of us tend to withdraw and isolate ourselves. But when we withdraw, we suppress our feelings, and suppressing feelings only results in more stress and tension. So, don't cut yourself off from people and bottle it all up. You need to talk but you should talk to the right person. In this context, the right person is your husband. So, tell him exactly how you feel. Pour it all out to him, so that he really understands.
Practise self control:
While it is true that some people tend to withdraw into themselves when they are very unhappy, many others are more extroverted or have less self-control, when they are grief-stricken. They cry their feelings out aloud and don't care who hears them. But this is not the time for such public outpourings. So, show self-control.
Don't make accusations:
You may be furious with your husband, but since the affair is out in the open, ranting and raving, accusing him of having had affairs earlier, of always having lied and caused you pain, etc, are irrelevant and useless. In fact, if you do this, you will weaken your own position because he will retaliate with accusations of his own against you.
On the other hand, showing dignity will help you to be more in control of the situation. And don't think that your hubby is getting off lightly if you don't scream and rage. Your controlled solemnity will be more impressive than wild anger and passion.
Don't ignore your health:
You may not feel like eating, exercising or even taking your medication. But pull yourself together and keep to your routine. This effort at normalcy, will spare your children a lot of fear and confusion, and also help you think straight. Major life events - and finding out that your husband has been unfaithful qualifies as one! - can raise your stress levels and blood pressure, setting the stage for heart disease.
The level of danger posed by your body's dramatic response to tension depends on how quickly you recover and this depends on how quickly you bring down your tension levels by taking care of your health.
Keep yourself busy and don't allow yourself to brood:
When our world is shattered, we sink into depression and when we are depressed, our energy levels touch rock bottom and we don't feel like doing anything. But slipping into despondency isn't going to help. You will be able to present a normal front to your children and also think clearly, if you are not too dejected.
This will happen if you keep busy and don't brood. This doesn't mean that you mustn't think. Thinking is different from brooding. When we brood, we resentfully concentrate on negative points and go over them again and again, like a record stuck in a groove.
But "thinking" is to consider all sides of a matter, coolly. Brooding won't help you, but thinking will.
Use the support system of your friends:
This is the time you really need people who are completely for you, whose eyes will fill up when yours do and whose loyalty you needn't waste time doubting - but who will not mince words, when telling you where you went wrong either.
The wonderful thing about friends is that you needn't be on your best behaviour with them. You needn't worry about what they will think of you either. In their company, you can weep, tell them things about your marriage that you wouldn't dream of telling anyone else in the world, and you needn't worry about how you look or sound either.
And you can even bring out the demons that have been tormenting you and ask them if they think that you might have weakened your marriage or even driven him into another woman's arms through your suspiciousness, all the weight you have put on, your nagging ways, a lack of interest in sex, etc.
In other words, with friends, you can let off steam, knowing that there will be no repercussions, knowing that these people are on your side. The unstinting support we get from friends increases our self-confidence and sense of self-worth. Talking things over freely and frankly also helps us get things into perspective so that we can decide what we are going to do.
Spend time with the family:
The support, sense of wellbeing and love we get from our family is different from the support system provided by our friends. The love and acceptance we get from our relatives is unquestioning and all-encompassing, but at least initially, we should not talk to family members about hubby's infidelity, as we talk about it to friends. However, we need our family at this critical juncture of our lives. Spending time with close family will definitely help us think clearly about future actions.
Don't let the children suffer: "If I ever find out that Mark has been unfaithful to me, I'll tell the children and turn them against him!" my young friend Christina told me, her voice full of passion even as she imagined the scenario. Christina loved her husband deeply, but always felt unsure of him because he was very handsome and worked in TV serials.
But though I understood that it was Christina's passionate love for Mark that made her talk like this, I knew that what she planned was very wrong. Yes, she would get back at her husband if she did what she threatened, but did she realise what she would do to her children, I wondered. Children love and need both their parents and to turn them against one of them will shake their confidence in the world and in themselves. It will make them feel abandoned and unsure of themselves, perhaps for all their days.
Once we have children, we can no longer live for ourselves. We also have to live for them. So, even if we are very angry with our spouse, we cannot let our children suffer. So, never talk against your husband, to your kids. Try to ensure that they can continue to love and respect him and that they do not have to suffer divided loyalties. If the need arises, you can tell them when they grow up.
Decide what you will do after cool thought and after discussion with your husband:
The situation you are in, isn't one that you can ignore. You have to decide how you will deal with it and what you will do. Can you forgive him? Will you continue to live with him because you have no alternative?
Do you need to be away from him for some time? Do you want to end your marriage?
Only your husband and you can decide how your marriage has been affected and whether it can survive. That depends to a great extent on the relationship you have with your husband - how much you love each other, what drove him to have the affair, and whether you can regain mutual trust, respect, confidence and love after he has betrayed your marriage. If your love for each other is strong enough, you will be ready to forgive and try to forget and he will be ready to try and make it up to you - for the rest of his life. No one can tell you what you should do because no one else can really understand how deep the wound in your heart is. But there is one thing. If you have children, you must do whatever is best for them.
Here are the most common signs of a cheating husband or the signs to know if your spouse is cheating on you and tips to help you in dealing with the signs of a cheating spouse and infidelity
About the author
Here are the most common signs of a cheating husband or the signs to know if your spouse is cheating on you and tips to help you in dealing with the cheating partner and infidelity
Cheating is all the same, It doesn't matter if you have a cheating husband, cheating wife, cheating boyfriend, or a cheating girlfriend, they all have the same signs of infidelity.
Below is a great article on dealing with a cheating spouse by Michael Douglas.
Dealing With A Cheating Spouse
A very good friend of mine - let me call her Shirley - told me that the day she found out that her husband was cheating on her and having an affair with a colleague, was the worst day of her life, "I've had other shocks," she told me soberly. "My younger brother dropped dead of a heart attack one day - when he was just 29. My mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer when she had had absolutely no symptoms. And I came to work one day and found a pink dismissal slip on my desk when I had been given the Employee of the Year award, just 6 months earlier. But this was the worst shock.
"The other happenings caused me great torment, but I could blame them on fate. After all, health isn't in our hands and our company was doing very badly at that time. But my husband's affair was a personal betrayal. It was a rejection of me at the most personal level." The photographs sent by a "friend who cares for you" had been a bolt from the blue because Shirley's hubby, Paul, had been - or had seemed to have been - as caring and affectionate as ever, at the time.
But in Cathy's case, she had suspected that something was wrong for some time, before she caught her husband David in a movie hall - with the daughter of a family friend when he should have been at office.
"David had been distant and indifferent for some time. Besides, I knew that he had been involved with this girl before she migrated to New Zealand and that she had come back after her marriage broke up. But perhaps I remained in denial because I can't describe how shocked and broken I felt when I saw him with her." For both Shirley and Cathy, the traumatic discovery brought anguish and stress. "The stress was because I not only had to deal with the betrayal of my husband being intimate with another woman, but I also had to maintain a facade of normalcy - for the sake of the kids and the rest of the family," explained Shirley.
When a man falls so deeply in love that he plans to leave his wife, he usually brings up the subject himself and tells his wife that he wants a divorce. But when he hides his affair, he is often just having a fling and has no intention of breaking up his home. When he is found out, he is usually terrified at the prospect of losing his kids and ostracised as an adulterer by the rest of the family.
So, almost invariably, he apologises and tells his wife that he acted without thinking, that the affair is a purely physical one with no emotional overtones or that the woman in question came on too strongly to be ignored. He then promises that he will never see the woman again and that he will be faithful to his wife for the rest of his days.
During the next few days, the broken and confused wife is badgered by her repentant husband. He begs her forgiveness, weeps and the time they are alone together, becomes agonising and unbearable for both of them. Both of them are also likely to be depressed, anxious and filled with a sense of great loss.
The nervous husband, who sees his life falling to pieces before his eyes, reminds his wife of their children and their families and tries to pressurise her into "forgiving" him. But the woman, at that time, is not able to think straight.
She is under great stress and is very vulnerable. So, there is a good chance that any decision she takes at this time, will be the wrong one!
Traumatic events like earthquakes, tsunami waves, criminal attacks and terrorist killings shatter our assumptions about our safety in the world. In a similar way, the discovery of infidelity on the part of our spouses devastates us because it shatters our basic assumption of being secure in a committed relationship. This is not the best time for us to take decisions - but a woman often tries to.
Here are some suggestions from psychiatrists, for those unfortunate enough to find themselves in this situation, on how to deal with it:
Do not take any impulsive decisions:
As has been mentioned above, no woman is, at this time, in a position to take any important or irrevocable decision. So, don't take any impulsively. Don't see your lawyer and ask him to start divorce proceedings and don't tell your husband that you'll forgive and forget either. Instead, tell your husband that you need time to come to terms with the shock that you are feeling.
Do not isolate yourself:
When we are very hurt, many of us tend to withdraw and isolate ourselves. But when we withdraw, we suppress our feelings, and suppressing feelings only results in more stress and tension. So, don't cut yourself off from people and bottle it all up. You need to talk but you should talk to the right person. In this context, the right person is your husband. So, tell him exactly how you feel. Pour it all out to him, so that he really understands.
Practise self control:
While it is true that some people tend to withdraw into themselves when they are very unhappy, many others are more extroverted or have less self-control, when they are grief-stricken. They cry their feelings out aloud and don't care who hears them. But this is not the time for such public outpourings. So, show self-control.
Don't make accusations:
You may be furious with your husband, but since the affair is out in the open, ranting and raving, accusing him of having had affairs earlier, of always having lied and caused you pain, etc, are irrelevant and useless. In fact, if you do this, you will weaken your own position because he will retaliate with accusations of his own against you.
On the other hand, showing dignity will help you to be more in control of the situation. And don't think that your hubby is getting off lightly if you don't scream and rage. Your controlled solemnity will be more impressive than wild anger and passion.
Don't ignore your health:
You may not feel like eating, exercising or even taking your medication. But pull yourself together and keep to your routine. This effort at normalcy, will spare your children a lot of fear and confusion, and also help you think straight. Major life events - and finding out that your husband has been unfaithful qualifies as one! - can raise your stress levels and blood pressure, setting the stage for heart disease.
The level of danger posed by your body's dramatic response to tension depends on how quickly you recover and this depends on how quickly you bring down your tension levels by taking care of your health.
Keep yourself busy and don't allow yourself to brood:
When our world is shattered, we sink into depression and when we are depressed, our energy levels touch rock bottom and we don't feel like doing anything. But slipping into despondency isn't going to help. You will be able to present a normal front to your children and also think clearly, if you are not too dejected.
This will happen if you keep busy and don't brood. This doesn't mean that you mustn't think. Thinking is different from brooding. When we brood, we resentfully concentrate on negative points and go over them again and again, like a record stuck in a groove.
But "thinking" is to consider all sides of a matter, coolly. Brooding won't help you, but thinking will.
Use the support system of your friends:
This is the time you really need people who are completely for you, whose eyes will fill up when yours do and whose loyalty you needn't waste time doubting - but who will not mince words, when telling you where you went wrong either.
The wonderful thing about friends is that you needn't be on your best behaviour with them. You needn't worry about what they will think of you either. In their company, you can weep, tell them things about your marriage that you wouldn't dream of telling anyone else in the world, and you needn't worry about how you look or sound either.
And you can even bring out the demons that have been tormenting you and ask them if they think that you might have weakened your marriage or even driven him into another woman's arms through your suspiciousness, all the weight you have put on, your nagging ways, a lack of interest in sex, etc.
In other words, with friends, you can let off steam, knowing that there will be no repercussions, knowing that these people are on your side. The unstinting support we get from friends increases our self-confidence and sense of self-worth. Talking things over freely and frankly also helps us get things into perspective so that we can decide what we are going to do.
Spend time with the family:
The support, sense of wellbeing and love we get from our family is different from the support system provided by our friends. The love and acceptance we get from our relatives is unquestioning and all-encompassing, but at least initially, we should not talk to family members about hubby's infidelity, as we talk about it to friends. However, we need our family at this critical juncture of our lives. Spending time with close family will definitely help us think clearly about future actions.
Don't let the children suffer: "If I ever find out that Mark has been unfaithful to me, I'll tell the children and turn them against him!" my young friend Christina told me, her voice full of passion even as she imagined the scenario. Christina loved her husband deeply, but always felt unsure of him because he was very handsome and worked in TV serials.
But though I understood that it was Christina's passionate love for Mark that made her talk like this, I knew that what she planned was very wrong. Yes, she would get back at her husband if she did what she threatened, but did she realise what she would do to her children, I wondered. Children love and need both their parents and to turn them against one of them will shake their confidence in the world and in themselves. It will make them feel abandoned and unsure of themselves, perhaps for all their days.
Once we have children, we can no longer live for ourselves. We also have to live for them. So, even if we are very angry with our spouse, we cannot let our children suffer. So, never talk against your husband, to your kids. Try to ensure that they can continue to love and respect him and that they do not have to suffer divided loyalties. If the need arises, you can tell them when they grow up.
Decide what you will do after cool thought and after discussion with your husband:
The situation you are in, isn't one that you can ignore. You have to decide how you will deal with it and what you will do. Can you forgive him? Will you continue to live with him because you have no alternative?
Do you need to be away from him for some time? Do you want to end your marriage?
Only your husband and you can decide how your marriage has been affected and whether it can survive. That depends to a great extent on the relationship you have with your husband - how much you love each other, what drove him to have the affair, and whether you can regain mutual trust, respect, confidence and love after he has betrayed your marriage. If your love for each other is strong enough, you will be ready to forgive and try to forget and he will be ready to try and make it up to you - for the rest of his life. No one can tell you what you should do because no one else can really understand how deep the wound in your heart is. But there is one thing. If you have children, you must do whatever is best for them.
Here are the most common signs of a cheating husband or the signs to know if your spouse is cheating on you and tips to help you in dealing with the signs of a cheating spouse and infidelity
About the author
Here are the most common signs of a cheating husband or the signs to know if your spouse is cheating on you and tips to help you in dealing with the cheating partner and infidelity
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Signs Of A Cheating Spouse
How To Catch A Cheating Spouse detect an affair
There are many ways to detect an affair, if you think you have an unfaithful spouse you must do something about it, don't just leave it, hoping it will go away. If you have a cheating partnerthere are lots of ways to catch them and then confront them.
Cheating is all the same, It doesn't matter if you have a cheating husband, cheating wife, cheating boyfriend, or a cheating girlfriend, they all have the same signs of infidelity.
Below is a great article on the signs of a cheating spouse.
Michael
What Are the signs of a cheating spouse by Jennifer Lawless
Are you worried that your spouse may be cheating on you? Since one study reported that 53% of women and 59% of men admitted cheating on their spouses, it's not at all unreasonable to be concerned. The question is do you have any reason to be concerned? What are some of the signs of a cheating spouse?
1) He/she shows a sudden interest in a different type of music. What are the chances that a lifelong country music fan is going to suddenly start listening to hip-hop or classical music? Close to zero, I'd say.
2) Your spouse's co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence. They're caught in the position of either betraying a co-worker, or being blamed later if you find out that they knew what was going on and didn't tell you. No wonder they're uncomfortable.
3) He/she has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance. When are males and females most preoccupied with their appearance? When they're trying to attract a mate or sexual partner, right?
4) Your spouse spends an excessive amount of time on the computer when you are asleep. Of course, how would you know? You're asleep.
5) The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off. Cheating can be expensive, especially for men, but even women need some new clothes and trips to the salon to carry on an affair with style. Unless your spouse just got fired or laid off, that missing money is being spent on something.
6) You find items of intimate apparel that you did not give your spouse. Only intimate partners give intimate apparel, and, if it wasn't you, it must be someone else.
7) Your cheating spouse seems less comfortable around you and is "touchy." Whether because of a guilty conscience or a misplaced loyalty to their new "sweetie," cheating spouses often become uncomfortable around the spouse they're cheating on.
8) You get calls where the caller hangs up when he or she hears your voice. It could be a wrong number, but, if it happens again and again...
9) He/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home. Everyone is a potential snitch, so he/she has to be guarded with all family members. Plus, your cheating spouse may be thinking about the possibility of a new home, which could cause a change in attitude towards the old one.
10) Your spouse uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly. Your spouse might be planning a surprise birthday party for you, but, if not, what is your spouse trying to hide?
11) He/she begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID. Everyone knows about reverse lookup by now.
12) Your spouse deletes all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate. It's sort of creepy to read other people's e-mail, but, if your spouse didn't care about it before, why the sudden change?
13) He/she picks fights in order to stomp out of the house. This has the double benefit of not only getting cheating spouses out of the house, but they also get to justify their cheating to themselves because you're a bastard/bitch.
If your spouse only shows one of the signs, you may have nothing to worry about, but it's never just one, is it? If your spouse is doing any one of these things, he/she is probably doing several, which brings up the big question: what do you do next? Do you confront, investigate, or ignore? The choice you make will change your life.
Jennifer Lawless writes on various subjects, including What Are the Signs of a Cheating Spouse. To find out the single biggest mistake you can make when you think your spouse is having an affair, visit her website Astonishing Discoveries.
http://astonishing-discoveries.blogspot.com/2007/03/proven-ways-to-catch-cheating-spouse.html
There are many ways to detect an affair, if you think you have an unfaithful spouse you must do something about it, don't just leave it, hoping it will go away. If you have a cheating partnerthere are lots of ways to catch them and then confront them.
Cheating is all the same, It doesn't matter if you have a cheating husband, cheating wife, cheating boyfriend, or a cheating girlfriend, they all have the same signs of infidelity.
Below is a great article on the signs of a cheating spouse.
Michael
What Are the signs of a cheating spouse by Jennifer Lawless
Are you worried that your spouse may be cheating on you? Since one study reported that 53% of women and 59% of men admitted cheating on their spouses, it's not at all unreasonable to be concerned. The question is do you have any reason to be concerned? What are some of the signs of a cheating spouse?
1) He/she shows a sudden interest in a different type of music. What are the chances that a lifelong country music fan is going to suddenly start listening to hip-hop or classical music? Close to zero, I'd say.
2) Your spouse's co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence. They're caught in the position of either betraying a co-worker, or being blamed later if you find out that they knew what was going on and didn't tell you. No wonder they're uncomfortable.
3) He/she has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance. When are males and females most preoccupied with their appearance? When they're trying to attract a mate or sexual partner, right?
4) Your spouse spends an excessive amount of time on the computer when you are asleep. Of course, how would you know? You're asleep.
5) The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off. Cheating can be expensive, especially for men, but even women need some new clothes and trips to the salon to carry on an affair with style. Unless your spouse just got fired or laid off, that missing money is being spent on something.
6) You find items of intimate apparel that you did not give your spouse. Only intimate partners give intimate apparel, and, if it wasn't you, it must be someone else.
7) Your cheating spouse seems less comfortable around you and is "touchy." Whether because of a guilty conscience or a misplaced loyalty to their new "sweetie," cheating spouses often become uncomfortable around the spouse they're cheating on.
8) You get calls where the caller hangs up when he or she hears your voice. It could be a wrong number, but, if it happens again and again...
9) He/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home. Everyone is a potential snitch, so he/she has to be guarded with all family members. Plus, your cheating spouse may be thinking about the possibility of a new home, which could cause a change in attitude towards the old one.
10) Your spouse uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly. Your spouse might be planning a surprise birthday party for you, but, if not, what is your spouse trying to hide?
11) He/she begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID. Everyone knows about reverse lookup by now.
12) Your spouse deletes all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate. It's sort of creepy to read other people's e-mail, but, if your spouse didn't care about it before, why the sudden change?
13) He/she picks fights in order to stomp out of the house. This has the double benefit of not only getting cheating spouses out of the house, but they also get to justify their cheating to themselves because you're a bastard/bitch.
If your spouse only shows one of the signs, you may have nothing to worry about, but it's never just one, is it? If your spouse is doing any one of these things, he/she is probably doing several, which brings up the big question: what do you do next? Do you confront, investigate, or ignore? The choice you make will change your life.
Jennifer Lawless writes on various subjects, including What Are the Signs of a Cheating Spouse. To find out the single biggest mistake you can make when you think your spouse is having an affair, visit her website Astonishing Discoveries.
http://astonishing-discoveries.blogspot.com/2007/03/proven-ways-to-catch-cheating-spouse.html
Thursday, January 25, 2007
How To Catch A Cheating Spouse With A Spy Phone
An interesting article by Susie Cooper. She explains how she caught her cheating spouse with a spy phone!
How to Catch a Cheating Spouse with a Spy Phone
I just had this sinking feeling that my spouse was cheating on me. I could not shake it, it was like my gut instinct was really trying to hit me over the head with the reality that my spouse is having an affair with someone else. The two of them were just too good for me, I could not catch them in the act, I was never able to catch a secret meeting, find any evidence of telephone calls, and I never found any solid evidence that something sinister was going on.
Regardless of the lack of evidence, I just knew. Somehow, something inside me just knew that there was an affair going on right under my nose. I could tell by the change in attitude, the change in emotion, and the change in romance was the ultimate clue. My friends and family tell me it is just me, my spouse is not cheating on me, there has to be some other reason for the change, but I am here to tell you I knew it and I found a way to prove it.
One day I was on the internet doing some research and found a website called the Spy Shop and I was looking through their website, when I found this ingenious invention, the Spy Phone. Well my spouse had a birthday coming up and I knew it would be a great gift, they like cell phones and was needing a new one any way. However, my spouse would never know that I was using the cell phone to catch them cheating on me.
This was what I needed to prove that my imagination was not running wild and I was not insane. I chose the Interceptor, even though the Spy Phone came in two different choices. One was the Inceptor that I chose and the other was the SMS Catcher. The inceptor includes everything that the SMS catcher includes and more. You see with the SMS catcher, if they were using SMS text messaging only, this would be ideal. However, with the Inceptor, I could not only catch the SMS text messages, but also listen in on any phone calls, and listen to what both my spouse and their lover was saying.
So, I gave my spouse the cell phone for their birthday, and began my search for the truth. The first thing that happened was that my spouse sent an SMS message via the Spy Phone to the lover, I got a copy of it on my own cell phone. When the lover sent one back, I got a copy of that as well. Talk about hard proof.
One night my spouse left the room to talk on the Spy Phone, so I went to my own phone and dialed the special number I was given, and was able to hear everything that was said between them. They never even knew I was there, there was no indication that someone was listening to the conversation they were having.
To make a long story short, I finally had all the evidence and proof I needed. Needless to say, the Spy Phone taught me a very valuable lesson about my gut instincts.
Jack Williams, owner and operator of The Spy Shop is the internets top expert in the field of discovering just what the rest of the world is up to. Find out just what your spouse or employees are doing with a wide range of valuable decides, including the popular Spy Phone.
About the Author
Born 1952 in Paris of Austrian parents. Went to university and majored in both Mechanical and Electrical Engineering. http://www.thespyshop.ws/spyphones.html
How to Catch a Cheating Spouse with a Spy Phone
I just had this sinking feeling that my spouse was cheating on me. I could not shake it, it was like my gut instinct was really trying to hit me over the head with the reality that my spouse is having an affair with someone else. The two of them were just too good for me, I could not catch them in the act, I was never able to catch a secret meeting, find any evidence of telephone calls, and I never found any solid evidence that something sinister was going on.
Regardless of the lack of evidence, I just knew. Somehow, something inside me just knew that there was an affair going on right under my nose. I could tell by the change in attitude, the change in emotion, and the change in romance was the ultimate clue. My friends and family tell me it is just me, my spouse is not cheating on me, there has to be some other reason for the change, but I am here to tell you I knew it and I found a way to prove it.
One day I was on the internet doing some research and found a website called the Spy Shop and I was looking through their website, when I found this ingenious invention, the Spy Phone. Well my spouse had a birthday coming up and I knew it would be a great gift, they like cell phones and was needing a new one any way. However, my spouse would never know that I was using the cell phone to catch them cheating on me.
This was what I needed to prove that my imagination was not running wild and I was not insane. I chose the Interceptor, even though the Spy Phone came in two different choices. One was the Inceptor that I chose and the other was the SMS Catcher. The inceptor includes everything that the SMS catcher includes and more. You see with the SMS catcher, if they were using SMS text messaging only, this would be ideal. However, with the Inceptor, I could not only catch the SMS text messages, but also listen in on any phone calls, and listen to what both my spouse and their lover was saying.
So, I gave my spouse the cell phone for their birthday, and began my search for the truth. The first thing that happened was that my spouse sent an SMS message via the Spy Phone to the lover, I got a copy of it on my own cell phone. When the lover sent one back, I got a copy of that as well. Talk about hard proof.
One night my spouse left the room to talk on the Spy Phone, so I went to my own phone and dialed the special number I was given, and was able to hear everything that was said between them. They never even knew I was there, there was no indication that someone was listening to the conversation they were having.
To make a long story short, I finally had all the evidence and proof I needed. Needless to say, the Spy Phone taught me a very valuable lesson about my gut instincts.
Jack Williams, owner and operator of The Spy Shop is the internets top expert in the field of discovering just what the rest of the world is up to. Find out just what your spouse or employees are doing with a wide range of valuable decides, including the popular Spy Phone.
About the Author
Born 1952 in Paris of Austrian parents. Went to university and majored in both Mechanical and Electrical Engineering. http://www.thespyshop.ws/spyphones.html
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