Can You Forgive A Cheating Partner

Forgiveness and Adultery - Can You Forgive a Cheating Partner?

So your husband has done the unthinkable and had an affair. You wonder if you will survive his adultery and more importantly how you will survive it. Will you be able to forgive him or is this the end of your marriage? How do you know whether you can forgive a cheating partner?
1) Is he a habitual adulterer? A husband who has never cheated on you before is very different from one who has had a string of affairs. Is this the first time he has cheated on you and is he really sorry about it? Is he sorry enough to give her up and to make a decision never to do it again? If he is then your relationship can be saved and you may be able to forgive him. If on the other hand he has a history of cheating or he is not sorry that he cheated but makes brazen light of it; then forgiving such a cheating partner may be impossible unless you want to live with adultery as the third partner in your relationship. Forgiveness in these instances is not possible because a man with a history of cheating will repeat his behavior unless something drastic happens to him. And a partner who is not really sorry simply does not see anything wrong with his cheating and will thus cheat on you again when the opportunity presents itself. For you to determine if forgiveness is possible you must of necessity be brutally honest with yourself. You cannot make excuses for him but you must see him for what he is. It was not the other women's faults or the alcohol or whatever circumstances that were there...he is just a cheating partner.
2) Is he willing to make up for his unfaithfulness? Adultery undermines the trust that you had in him and it changes your relationship forever since it totally changes your perspective of him and your relationship. Is he willing to do all that he can to rebuild your trust in him or does he want to continue in his old ways as you somehow 'get over' the adultery? To rebuild your trust he will have to open up his life to you and to walk with you as you deal with the insecurities that his cheating has created in your heart. To forgive a cheating partner requires that your now repentant partner teams up with you to rebuild what the adultery destroyed. If however your husband just wants to go back to the pre-adultery days without him doing any rebuilding of what was destroyed then forgiveness cannot occur and if you agree to such an arrangement then mistrust and suspicion will haunt you every day that you are with him and emotionally you will be stuck at his infidelity since you have really not dealt with it. It will always simmer just below the surface threatening your health, your peace of mind, your self esteem and your joy.
3) Are you able to let the adultery go? Adultery changes the way that you see your partner and your relationship; can you live with this new reality? He is not who you thought he was and your relationship was not as solid as you thought; can you accept that as your truth? If you can then you can forgive a cheating partner. If however you cannot accept this as your new reality and your one burning thought and desire is to get things back to how they were before the adultery then you cannot forgive a cheating partner since you refuse to face reality. To forgive a repentant cheating partner you must, as a necessity, accept that core things have forever changed in your relationship.
4) Are you willing to work at rebuilding your relationship? Your relationship will not just recover spontaneously after adultery. You will have to work with your now repentant partner to rebuild whatever was destroyed. This means that you must give your partner room to change and not give in to your now irrational fears of his continued cheating. You have to hold him accountable without wanting a second-by-second break down of all his time away from you. Giving him room to change means that you don't hold the adultery over him every time he does something wrong. You must be willing to leave the adultery in the past by not bring it up in conversations or in your thoughts. It will take your time and energy to do this and you must persist in it until healing occurs in your heart. Is this something that you are willing to commit yourself to do? If you are not willing then you cannot forgive him.
To forgive a cheating partner you must have all the 4 steps in place otherwise the adultery will continue to haunt you and to occupy a place of prominence in your life and relationship. Forgiveness allows you to grow and change from the experience but to also leave the adultery in the past.

However if you and your partner just seem to be a mismatch then use these simple compatibility tests to know if your problem is that you are simply incompatible but if your partner is a mystery to you then I would recommend these relationship questions to help you understand him and know whether your relationship can or should be saved.
Rosy Anderson is a researcher in social economic issues and the way they affect decision making; and she enjoys writing and being in healthy, happy relationships.

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Catch Your Cheating Partner

How To Catch A Cheating Partner

How to catch a cheating partner? - There are many ways and some of them are highlighted here. The most miserable and devastating experience in one's personal life is being cheated. What makes it worse is not being sure whether the partner is really cheating. Suspicions about a cheating partner will lead a person to feel sick in the stomach, emotionally exhausted, sexual neglect and lowered self-esteem. These can be overcome when an effort is made to catch the cheating partner.
If infidelity is suspected in the relationship through intuition -a gift given to human -, which is most powerful, even though intuition alone is not enough to catch a cheating partner.
Instead of living the day-to-day life emotionally broken down, followed by physical neglect and abused emotionally by the partner, it is better to identify ways to make sure that the partner is cheating. Few creative investigations will lead to finding the truth. Private investigators can be hired to follow the partner and confirm whether the partner is cheating or not. This process is little bit expensive but self-investigation work needs time and be prepared to face the results and the truths emerging from the investigation.
Scrutinizing the shared credit card and reports is one of the methods to find out the truth. Suspicious charges found in the monthly credit card statements can help in identifying and catching the cheating partner. Clues can be identified through phone bills whether the partner is cheating or not. Calls made frequently to unrecognised numbers will provide a vital clue to catch a cheating partner. The result may indicate a new phone number acquired by a friend or relative unknown to one of the partners or the partner is cheating and it is the phone number of the person with whom the partner is having an affair. Confronting the partner bluntly about the suspicious or unexplained charges found in the credit card report is another method to catch a cheating partner.
Lot of questions seeking explanations is yet another way to catch the cheating partner. Paying attention carefully to details will lead to picking up inconsistencies in the information given by the partner. By highlighting the frequent inconsistencies in their replies, which contradict some earlier statement, will lead to catch the cheating partner.
Finding the truth will help to catch a cheating partner even though the process is emotionally painful.

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Why Not Try To Forgive Your Cheating Partner

Forgiving is hard, but if you want to save your relationship, surviving infidelity is possible!

How to Forgive a Cheating Partner

A cheating partner is a relationship and self esteem killer but if he is not a habitual cheater then it may be possible to forgive him. Forgiving a cheating partner does not mean that you let him off the hook for the cheating neither does it mean that you give him a license to continue cheating on you. That is not forgiveness but impunity on his part and heartache breeding foolishness on your part. So how do you forgive a cheating partner?
i. Decide on what you are going to do. You must now take an honest and candid look at your partner and yourself, and then make up your mind what you will do. Do not act until you have decided one way or the other.
a. Determine if he has given up his cheating ways. To forgive a cheating partner you must know that he is remorseful about what he has done, he has stopped cheating on you and he has changed his behavior so that he doesn't place himself in temptations way. This is the critical foundational step to help you forgive a cheating partner as it allows you to know that he has put the despicable behavior behind him. When you know that the cheating is completely behind him then you can now start to put it behind you by forgiving him. If you are not sure whether the cheating is behind him or not then you are unable to put it behind you since in a way it is still part of your relationship today even if only in your mind. If he has not given up his cheating ways then how can you forgive him for something that he clearly enjoys and continues to do? You cannot put his cheating in the past when he continues in it today. You must be completely convinced in your mind and heart that he has changed his behavior in-order for you to be able to forgive him.
b. Determine if you are willing and able to forgive him. To forgive a cheating partner you must look inside of yourself and decide whether you want to forgive your partner and whether you are strong enough to let it go. Are you willing to accept and live with what he has done, who the cheating has revealed him to be and the real state of your relationship? Be as honest with yourself as possible as that is the only way you will have the strength and determination to forgive him.
ii. Put the cheating in the past. Now that you have made up your mind that you want to forgive him you must now let go of the infidelity. To put the cheating in the past a number of things must happen;
a. You must decide that you will not take your revenge. Granted you are hurt and angry but to forgive a cheating partner you must stop hurting him with your words, deeds, sarcasm and negativity. Yes he messed up but if you want to move away from the infidelity then you must stop the punishment. Stop keeping the infidelity alive by your disapproval; in whatever form it takes.
b. Stop thinking about the infidelity all the time. True your initial reaction will be to obsess about the infidelity and for your mind to run through all the what-if's that you can think of but you need to focus your mind on the new things happening in your life today.
c. Hold him accountable in his new behavior. Whatever you agreed that he would do to win your trust you must ensure that he keeps his word. He must do what is necessary to help you regain your trust in him so that your suspicions do not take you back into the past.
iii. Enjoy life again! To forgive a cheating partner you must now start enjoying life again. Live life to the full today without the weight of the infidelity. Focus on what is great and beautiful in your life and relationship and revel in them.
To forgive infidelity requires you to take all the three steps as each step is necessary in the journey to forgiveness. And it is a journey that will take time so don't lose heart but keep doing the right thing until your emotions follow your deeds and you can get to the last step where you smile again.

However if you are simply suspicious about his cheating then use these signs of a cheating partner to help you know whether he is really cheating on you but if you are unsure your relationship can be saved then use these signs of a bad relationship to decide.
Rosy Anderson is a researcher in social economic issues and the way they affect decision making; and she enjoys writing and being in healthy, happy relationships.

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Inspector Poirot Will Catch Your Cheating Partner

Hiring a Private Detective to Catch a Cheating Partner

These frequently asked questions should provide readers with an insight into some of the issues that have to be considered very carefully before choosing to hire a private detective to catch a cheating partner.
Hiring a Private detective
Is it ethical to hire a private investigator?
This is one of the most common concerns when contemplating hiring a private detective, especially when attempting to catch a cheating partner. If a secret affair could be described as duplicitous and deceitful, then how would we describe the act of secretly employing an investigator to monitor their every move?
Unfortunately for both us and our clients, cases in which initial suspicions prove true account for the vast majority of cheating partner investigations we deal with. In these cases, there is hardly a moral case to argue. Often, the suspecting spouse has given the cheating partner every opportunity to come clean about their affair, choosing only to turn to the help of a private detective when the cycle suspicion and denial continues. But that doesn't the decision to hire a private detective any easier.
In cases when the actions of a suspected cheating partner can be explained innocently, the ethical and moral case can seem less clear. But finding out that initial suspicions are unfounded can bring long lasting peace of mind. In these cases the suspecting party may chose to tell their loved one which aspects of behaviour caused suspicion in the first place, spurring them on to change their ways and help re-establish trust in the relationship
What steps can I take myself before hiring a private investigator?
If you're reading this article, the chances are that you already have strong suspicions that your partner is having an affair and feel that hiring a private detective might offer a solution. But how can you be sure that you've taken every step to offer your cheating partner to come clean? Confronting your partner may be enough to either confirm or allay your suspicions and these articles on the five signs of a cheating partner and how to catch a cheating partner will give you the information you need to get started. If you still have doubts after trying out all the tactics and the guide, it's time to call in a private investigator.
What if I get found out?
When investigating a suspected cheating partner it's important to choose the right private detective for the job. An experienced private investigator will have all the necessary experience and know-how to carry out surveillance effectively and discretely without compromising the client. Choosing the right private detective is one of the most important factors that will determine your success.
Do I really want to know the truth about my cheating partner?
You already know the answer to that question. Finding out the truth about a cheating partner can be one of the most devastating and heartbreaking moments that life can throw at you. For some couples the damage is irreparable but others learn to work through their differences, emerging from the trauma stronger and with a renewed sense of commitment. For an experienced an ethical private detective the work shouldn't end when the evidence has been gathered and presented to the client. Make sure your counsellor can put you in touch with a registered, experienced counsellor to help both parties make a new start and move on with life - whatever they decide to do.

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